The lies we tell ourselves: Part 1- “I have no regrets.”
Regrets are part of the human condition, everyone has them, and yet it often seems almost taboo to acknowledge this. If we think that we shouldn’t have regrets, we are only placing a heavier burden upon ourselves. We experience regret and then judge ourselves for having these feelings.
The truth is that everyone screws up sometimes. We make decisions that hurt ourselves or others and carry some guilt, grief or shame about those choices. If someone says they are completely regret-free they are likely living in denial. The biggest challenge we face is to acknowledge these regrets without being debilitated by them. Obsessing over the past and wishing or thinking about all the ways things could have turned out differently if only… does not serve anyone.
It’s always easy to look back and see where we went wrong, what the wiser choice may have been knowing what we know now. This is not a fair mind game to play with yourself. You didn’t have the same knowledge then; you must accept that. We can use our regrets as learning experiences. We can make different choices, wiser choices with the knowledge we accumulate which may ultimately lead to fewer regrets. We can accept responsibility for our actions without being burdened with a belief that we are bad. Ultimately you only have one life to live, don’t spend it punishing yourself for the choices you have made.