You are frustrated and stuck in a pattern that isn't working. You want things to change but don't know how to make this happen. You wonder how you ended up here. You are tired of fighting. Maybe you don't even fight anymore but you just feel like you are invisible to your partner or maybe you feel like you are walking on eggshells and you don't know how to communicate without arguing. You miss the way things were. You know you need some help if anything is going to change.
Relationships are complex. I have helped many couples to sort through what sometimes feels like a total mess. Marriage and relationship counselling helps people communicate their needs and move forward in a positive direction.
Couples counselling provides a safe place to talk about issues that can sometimes be hard to bring up at home. It is also a time to work through issues that tend to result in arguments but don't ever feel like they get resolved.
Some reasons people choose to attend relationship therapy:
To improve your communication skills especially around issues that cause arguments
To understand each other better
To learn to parent as a team
To find guidance in deciding whether or not to end a relationship
To find strategies to cope with and process a separation/divorce
To rebuild trust in the relationship after infidelity
Relationship counselling sessions can help you to:
See the negative circular pattern that you are stuck in and create a positive cycle
Identify and communicate your needs
Establish healthy boundaries and limits
Learn to express emotions in a relationship
Learn and implement effective conflict resolution strategies
Forgive emotional injuries
Discuss emotional and sexual intimacy and whether each partner's needs are being met
Highlight areas of strength and shared values, as well as areas for improvement
Set goals together to improve relationship dynamics
Part of the reward of doing couples counselling is that once trust and connection are solid, you can devote time to nurturing a sense of intimacy with each other, joy in your relationship and to falling in love again. Seeking couples therapy is a sign of health.
In the first session we will explore whether there is a good fit between us and identify the important issues for our work. It can be helpful for you to think about what are your goals for the therapy and what aspects of your life you want to change. It is also important to know that therapy is not a linear and cognitive process, but an open and emotional exploration that often leads to the unexpected. The nature of the work is that it is challenging but we will do this in a setting that is safe and where it is okay to make mistakes and learn.
A good preparation for couples is not to think about what their partner is doing wrong but to reflect on their own contributions to the conflict or problem. What kind of a relationship would you want and which steps can you take to get there?
Typically, the next several sessions are also part of the assessment phase, I gather data about personal/family history and we work together to understand your attachment patterns in your current relationship. Therapeutic work occurs during the assessment phase and in some respects, this is the most critical phase of therapy, as it is laying the crucial foundation for deeper work that occurs at later stages in therapy.
Want a healthier relationship? Reach out now and book a free 15-minute consultation to get started.